Where are you right now? Where am I at this moment? My bubble has been built from very basic materials. There’s no easy, beautiful, or comfortable starting point at any cost. If we talk about tomorrow, then we all know that tomorrow is a never-ending story. We unconsciously make up our own room. We make a decision, we love, and we survive. Yep, not all of us, but most.
Messy. Biased. The room has transformed me into someone I never expected to be. The room that I never dreamt about. It’s interesting that the sign in front of the door states:
“This room is only for someone who is sincere, brave enough to fall and come back stronger.”
Yeah, I’m a chicken. Will this room lead me to failure? But, how could I know if I never tried to open the door? Everybody is afraid to fall, including me. I know, when we decide to do something to make our dream a reality, we are aware of the risks. I don’t want to be a coward anymore.
I had no idea that the room was what most people refer to as a dream. Someone once told me not to dream in halves but in wholes. If you only have a half-dream, you will risk everything as if it were a full one. So, it’s better to dream as high as you’ve never dreamed, right? A dream will only be a dream if you sleep about it. I passed that door. I dream big, a huge one. I’ll make sure I’m there with a very clear path and plan. I calculate every step and risk. Is it real now? I officially walked into the room.
Saying goodbye— hi there, how’s life? Do you remember a room that I always talked about? I’m working on it right now. I’m sorry if it sounds like selfishness. The tough time that I considered my most guilty feeling as a human being for hurting someone else’s heart and mine. I’m deeply sorry for turning our future into something we never imagined. I hate to say it, but I have to: this is the room of mine that I am always looking for. Ah, wait, no, no, please don’t look at me like it was only my scenario to cut you off from my room. Your face says everything. Nothing is more difficult or easier. We just have a different room to walk in.
The room requires that I stop expecting things from others. In any case, I choose to stop it when I don’t have any control over it. Otherwise, if I could have some control over it, then it is fine to have expectations. I never imagined I could go this far or be this brave. I don’t even dare to walk to this unknown room. But, first things first, is there an exit door for me?
Em, by the way, there’s no difference if I go now, tomorrow, or next year, because, as I calculated, the risks remain the same. So, why should I waste time waiting for tomorrow when I can go now with my brand new me?
That’s just my old writing.
